Hide Yo Kids, Hide Yo Wife
by xoxoeosvugirl
Summary: The Flock is living in Washington, DC when they are kidnapped by the evil Jeb and the Director. Who comes to their rescue? None other than Antoine Dodson and President Obama, of course. RUN AND TELL THAT!


**A/N: Well hello there! Here you go, a random story from moi. This was written after an interesting discussion with a friend and just for fun. If you take this seriously...well you need help. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride, Antoine Dodson, Katie Couric, McGruff the Crime Dog or the President. **

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><p><strong>Washington, DC<strong>

"I want to meet the president!" Gazzy complained loudly.

Max rolled her eyes at Fang, her best friend. "Come on, Gazzy, you know you have to have permission to meet him," she insisted. "Plus, we'd look awfully suspicious, a bunch of kids living on our own? We'd look weirder than Rebecca Black driving."

"I guess," he said sadly. "Oh well. Maybe someday."

"It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday!" Nudge sang obnoxiously.

"Nudge! I'm blind, not deaf!" Iggy complained. "Stop singing that before I go gangster on you."

"Iggy, no, no, no. You don't have a gangster bone in your body," Max reminded him.

"Says who?" he said. "For all you know, I could be the leader of the Crips."

"More like the Cripples." Max rolled her eyes. Then she looked out the window. A silver sedan was parked outside of their condo. Two people got out of the car.

"Aw, damn," Max swore. "Not again!"

"Are they from the School?" Fang gasped.

Max nodded sadly. "You know what this means. Another cliche fight scene."

"There they are!" Jeb Batchelder, a scientist working for an evil company called Itex, said, pointing out the kids. "Let's get 'em." He ripped the door open.

"Wait. Why would they leave the door open?" Marian, the director of an Itex lab called the "School," asked.

"Why would I know? This isn't the Discovery Channel," Jeb snapped.

"Run!" Max shouted. Marian grabbed her before she could get away.

"Don't try to escape," she told her. "We've got you for good this time." Marian dragged Max and Fang to the car.

"Let us go!" Fang yelled. "Help! Somebody! Help!"

"Nobody can hear you," Jeb muttered.

**Antoine Dodson's House**

"Antoine! Look!" Kelly Dodson, the sister of the infamous Antoine Dodson, shouted, pointing out the window. "Those creeps are kidnapping those kids!"

"Awww HELL no!" Antoine shouted. He picked up his phone and dialed 911.

"911, what's your emergency?" the dispatcher asked.

"I need the police. These two idiots just kidnapped some kids! Their license plate's 99104. Let's get 'em!"

**At the School...**

"How could I have been so stupid? I left the door unlocked," Max moaned. The Whitecoats had shoved them into a tiny room. Of course, there was no way out.

"It's not your fault," Fang assured her. "We thought we were safe."

"This is like one of those cop shows," Iggy said.

"Except the cops won't find us here, nobody will!" Max shouted. "I hate this."

"I'm sick of watching them pace around," Jeb insisted from the School's control room, where they monitored all the experiments. "Isn't there anything good on TV?"

"It's kind of entertaining." Marian smiled evilly. "But we can watch the news." She switched on the TV.

"This is an NBC Special Report," reporter Katie Couric announced. "We're live in Washington, DC, where six children have allegedly been kidnapped by two people in a silver Acura. We have an Amber Alert out on the suspects, and their license plate number is 99104. Live with us is Antoine Dodson, a witness with a few words to say about the crime."

"Well, OBVIOUSLY, we have two KIDNAPPERS in Washington, DC!" Antoine shouted. "They're climbing in yo' windows, snatching yo' people up, kidnapping them, so y'all need to hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife, and hide yo' husband, 'cause they're taking ERRRBODY out there!"

"Thank you, Antoine. If you have any information about the crime, please call 911."

"Oh, no!" Marian said. "Not the Bed Intruder guy!"

"Relax! Nobody's gonna find us-

Jeb was interrupted by a loud ring. He picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"We got yo' lab coat, you don' left fingerprints and all, you are so dumb!" Antoine shouted in the phone. "You are really dumb, fo' real."

"Hey, you've got the wrong guy!"

"You don't have to come and confess that you did it! We're lookin' for you. We gon' find you, imma let you know now. So you can run and tell THAT, homeboy!"

A new voice came on the line.

"Dr. However-the-hell-you-say-your-name, this is the President," Barack Obama said sternly. "We're on our way to arrest you and all your mad scientist friends right now. So you better get a good lawyer, or you're headed straight to jail!"

"We've got to get rid of them!" Jeb said, panicked.

"What are we gonna do with them? They're our most successful experiments. We can't kill them or send them away. Plus, like Antoine said, they're gonna find us anyway," Marian insisted.

"We have to do something," he said. "Go get them. I'll make sure the cops don't get in. Maybe they'd enjoy trying out my new human-narwhal DNA formula."

"Good plan," Marian agreed. She ran to the door where the Flock was being held. "You kids come with me," she snapped.

"Make us!" Nudge stuck out her tongue.

"Yeah!" Angel said, nodding.

"You better back off or we'll go gangster on you," Iggy added.

"Iggy, quit it with the gangster crap. This isn't Boyz in the Hood," Max said. Between being locked in a tiny cell and dealing with Iggy's gangster-ness, she was a little annoyed.

"HEY!" Antoine Dodson yelled. "You better back off, yo!"

Marian turned around, facing a bunch of FBI agents, the President, and Antoine Dodson. She immediately ran in the other direction, but was cornered by more cops.

"I guess this is the part where you arrest me," Marian said dejectedly. "Or...it's where my fellow mad scientist Jeb saves me and we kill you all." She looked around. "Jeb! That's your cue!" she hissed.

"Game's over," Jeb muttered. He was being led away in handcuffs. "They got us."

"Fine," Marian sighed. "I guess you were right after all."

Antoine Dodson shook his head in disappointment. "You're still so dumb, fo' real."

"Hey! It's the president!" Gazzy shouted. "You came after all!"

"Of course!" Obama smiled. "It's my sworn duty to protect all Americans, winged or otherwise. In fact, I've got a job for you as flying Secret Service agents."

"Yay!" they all cheered.

***McGruff the Crime Dog Enters***

"Hey kids!" McGruff said. "It's your friend, McGruff the Crime Dog. The lesson to be learned here is, never kidnap another person! Don't turn kids into birds! And especially don't mess with Antoine Dodson!"

Antoine nodded. "Run and tell that!"

"Remember, only YOU can take a bite out of crime!"


End file.
